LOVE...

"WE MUST WANT THE RELATIONSHIP THIS MUST BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN WETHER THE CHILD BRUSHES HER TEEHT."
Me: Lets brush your teeth/ brush your teeth please (in a very kind voice)
M: NO I dont want to..
Ok so i pause and think...i can go on asking, begging, trying to convince her (BIG GIRLS DO IT/FARIES DO IT ETC) and she still wont do it.  So i just drop it and go on ...
BUT THERE IS A BETTER WAY...
NOW I SAY : Ok so maybe we will try tomorrow, maybe you will feel different tomorrow.  When tomorrow comes i try to change my ways as well, i step away from my automatic demand and say:
1. Which toothbrush would you like to use tonight? red?green? or/
2. Do you want to put pj's on first or brush your teeth first? or/
3. Which song do you want me to sing while you brush your teeth? or/
4. Let me see how good /fast you can brush. or/
5. Let me go grab my toothbrush so we can brush together.....


The possibilities are endless the idea is to step away from "habitual demand"  and make it happen without "giving out orders". It worked for me the first time and then it worked again and then i did not work and then it did again it is an ongoing process ... I t is not easy but we must try , we must try and listen to our children's needs/wants if we control (give them automatic demands) them all the time it is very hard for their own individuality to blossom. There are times when we feel like  oh i cant do (long day) it but a little effort goes a long way........
Lets change our ways and our children's way will slowly but surly will change too..


The above quotes  are from the book: The forgotten language of children ( A journey in living authentically)
Amazing book, recommended for all parents.....